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Gay Marriage   
08:13pm 21/07/2004
 
mood: disappointed
Ok, lately a lot more gay people are being bothered..and how they are being made fun of or almost discriminated. But a lot of people say "Gay marriage is a sin....." or "The Bible doesn`t allow it" But then why did God make them gay, and not all people beleive in God..so there is one thing, they don`t have to be straight. And they didn`t decide to be gay, they just are, it`s not exactly a choice. And when a person comes out and says there gay..i feel so bad...because people give them so much shit about it...and decide to not be there friend because they might be attracted to them. for example there is this girl I was talking to and she was crying as she was telling me this...of how she was bi and when she told her best friend in the world....she assumed that my freind wasn`t good enough. thats just heart breaking.

- This happened to a close friend of mine		  
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Betrayed   
12:19am 21/07/2004
 
mood: shocked
music: ...
hey...well im mad....i learned sumthin else today.....at times, u cant even trust ur own family.i thought that i could trust my cuzin wit my secrets.....but 2day, she proved me wrong.she told my secret to her mom....her mom called my mom n started tellin my mom a lot of things....i cant believe dat i trusted her.she had no right to tell ne one about my secrets n wut i do.....it hurts me cuz shes my cuzin....she has my blood n yet...she backstabs me.i could imagine a friend doin dat....but my own fu*in cuzin....no0ow dat sh*t hurts like a bi*ch...i never thought dat she would do dat.she said dat she didnt tell her mom but i know dat she was liein cuz everytime dat she gets cought in a lie she cries n lies even more like a lil bi*ch.i know dat im callin her a bi*ch a lot....but dats da way dat i feel right now....i feel like shes even dirtier than the gum u see stuck on da side walk.i am disgusted by wut she has done....i know dat i cant ever trust her again...but its all go0od.....pay bak will be a bi*ch....she didnt keep my secret...but guess wut becky....i just might not keep ur lil secret about wut happened wtit robert!!!!!!....ur mom thinks dat ur dis lil inocent bi*ch but not for long.so0on enough she will see who the real rebecca is...n u know exactly wut im talkin about...i might have hurt u when i called u a BITCH...but u hurt me when u snitched on me da way u did...so0o now its all gonna come bak to u...i've told u about da way things bakfire on other ppl....n now paybak is knockin on ur door....even if u dont open up...its gonna come in....n its gonna haunt u....dats all i gotta say to ur bitch ass....as to me....i found out dat i cant trust ppl.right now i've made up my mind...no one will ever know me....or n.e thin about me....they can assume how n who i am but to everyone, i'll truely be a mystery....so0o take a guess on how i am, ask me questions but never will u know me or n.e thin about me.

- this only excludes the ppl from florida that im just getting to know.		  
     Read 3 - Post
 
.::* Friends *::.   
10:57pm 03/07/2004
 
mood: loved
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.


Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?



People live, but people die. I want to tell you that
you are a friend.

If you died tomorrow (God Forbid)

you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

If you care about me as much as I care about you

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,
I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about friends		  
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.:: Blah ::.   
10:07pm 02/07/2004
 
mood: bored
ok. so summer has it's up's and it's definate down's. one up... no school, unless for you unfourtionate few who are sucked into summer school (which could also be a down, but not for me). then there is the down... BOREDOM!!! 24/7. nonstop.		  
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Do i know you?   
12:48am 02/07/2004
 
mood: bored
music: Blink 182
SINCE I DO NOT KNOW MOST OF YOU...

YOU

name:

age:

sex:

AIM screenname:

do you enjoy reading my LJ?:

why:

interesting fact about you:

weird fact about you:

favorite quote:

RECOMMEND

1. a movie:

2. a good book:

3. a song or album:

4. an LJ user that isn't on my friends list:

5. something to do in the next two months:


fill it out and comment it		  
     Read 1 - Post
 
Ehhh...   
08:56pm 01/07/2004
 
mood: confused
music: Dashboard Confessional- Saints and Saliors
This is my first actual entry...and it starts off sadly for me. I met someone a few weeks ago who I like. She is really nice. I really do like her. But I'm having trouble showing her affection. I don't know why! It may be because I've never been with anyone before...or it could be the fact that I'm just a plain baby. I don't know. I know I'm bi! Yet, I can't act it! I act like a normal straight chick.

Everyone who knows me, that doesn't know that I'm bi, thinks I'm straight, and they have no doubt in their mind that I'm not straight. If they at least thought for a bit that I may be gay, then coming out would be so much easier. But when I told the few people I told, it shocked most of them. They didn't have a clue. I think that in my mind I act pretty gay (even though I freaking hate stereotypes!)

Anyway, back to today. I was pretty comfortable being around her...we even looked at gay magazines together. (NOT PORN!) I'm not a person to make a first move...and I'm not sure if she is. If she is, then maybe she was afraid that she would move too fast for me...I wish I knew.

Now there is doubt in my mind that I'm not as gay as I thought...but how can I not be really gay when I prefer the looks and presence of girls over guys? Maybe the doubt is, I'm not ready to be with a girl. But I am! I want to be in a relationship, I want to feel loved back, I want to be with someone who I can care about, and hug, and feel for, and love... But I can't show that affection.

My mind right now is just batteling back and forth. Is this a curse being gay? Did I do something terribly wrong as a child to be made this way? Do I have to be ridiculed the rest of my life for being something I CANNOT possibly have control over? Must I be outcasted because of my true self? NO!		  
     Read 4 - Post
 
Party all nite!!   
01:00am 01/07/2004
 
mood: hyper
music: Yellowcard...
so tired...can't take it...

i went to a party at my friends jennine's house last night... it was a "pizza, anime, and DDR" party...you should have seen me try to play ddr...it was pathetic...i barely passed a one-foot song.

anyway, it was a ton of fun. i was there until like 11:30...another late night!

ya well anyway, we played this fun game called "Apples to Apples". Each player takes turns picking a green card and reading the word on it. Everyone else looks at the seven red cards in their hand and picks one that the green card describes. the person with the green card decides the winner of the round, and gives the green card to that person. For example, i picked a green card that said chewy, and my friend mike put down a red card that said boyfriends, and i chose him as the winner. on another of my turns, the word was cuddley, and mike put down a card that said myself. jennine put one down that said barbed wire. i picked jennine to win that one. the person with the green card can either pick the funniest answer, or the one that fits the best.

anyway, that's an awsome party game, but you need a bunch of people to play or it's probably no fun.

ok...gotta go...		  
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  deadbeforedawnx
 
 

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